Child Safety Best Practices
Screening and paperwork catch who shouldn't be in the room. What happens inside the room, every week, is a matter of practice and culture — and that has to be taught, repeated, and modeled, not just checked off once a year. Share this with every volunteer and every leader, print it, put it on the wall.
For Volunteers
- The two-adult rule applies always. Not just during official programming. An informal hangout, giving a kid a ride home, watching one child while a parent runs back for something — the rule doesn't pause because it's not technically "church."
- Never alone with one child, even briefly. Bathroom breaks, storage rooms, hallways, the parking lot — a moment counts as much as an hour.
- Visible spaces only. Doors open, windows uncovered. If a space can be closed off from view, it's the wrong space.
- Appropriate contact: high fives, fist bumps, and side hugs. Not laps, not front hugs, not carrying kids. Affection is fine — the form it takes is what's being managed.
- Restroom trips and diaper changes: female volunteers only. No exceptions for a male volunteer, regardless of role or tenure.
- No private 1:1 contact with a minor. Texts, DMs, social media — always with a parent or another adult included, never one-on-one.
- Something feels off? Say something immediately. Even if you're not sure it's anything. Nobody has ever been criticized for a report that turned out to be nothing. People have been badly hurt by a report that didn't happen.
For Leadership
Same floor as above, higher bar — because the position itself is the risk. Most real cases involve someone with trust and access, not a stranger.
- Never counsel, meet, or transport a minor 1:1. No exceptions for "just this once," a long-standing relationship with the family, or a crisis that feels urgent. Bring a second adult or don't do it.
- Appropriate contact: high fives, fist bumps, and side hugs. The same rule applies to you. No exceptions for tenure or title.
- No personal social contact with minors outside official, visible channels. If a parent can't see it, it shouldn't be happening.
- Model the two-adult rule publicly, for yourself, first. The moment a leader is seen exempting themselves, the whole culture around the rule erodes for everyone underneath them.
- Every override you grant is permanent. It goes on the annual report your insurer sees. If you wouldn't want it in that file with your name on it, don't grant it.
Recognizing Grooming
These are patterns, not proof on their own — but a volunteer showing several of them, repeatedly, is worth a direct conversation and closer oversight, not silence.
- Special treatment and secret-keeping. Favoritism, gifts, or privileges tied to keeping something between just the two of them — "don't tell your parents" is never innocent.
- Testing and escalating boundaries. Physical contact that starts innocuous — tickling, wrestling, prolonged hugs — and gradually pushes further, watching what adults and the child will tolerate.
- Engineering 1:1 access. Rides home, "extra help" after everyone else has left, volunteering disproportionately for tasks that put them alone with a child — driving, overnights, diaper duty, closing up.
- Isolating a child from peers and other adults. Private messaging or social contact outside official, visible channels; steering a specific child away from the group.
- Undermining parents' role. Bypassing a parent's rules, communicating directly with a child instead of through the family, positioning themselves as the trusted alternative to the parent.
Step 1 & 2: Application and References
- Volunteer Application Template ↗
Duplicate it, put your church's name on it, and cut or add whatever fits. Covers applicant info, prior experience with minors, background-check consent, and three references — the same fields tracked under Application received and References checked on the roster.
- A reasonable threshold for "regular exposure to minors" — the point where an application and reference check should be required — is any recurring, scheduled role, not just occasional event help. Harborkeeper already treats these as different tiers on the roster.
Recommended Training Programs
- Darkness to Light — Stewards of Children ↗
The most widely used baseline course — about 2.5 hours, video-based, includes a workbook for building your own policy.
- GRACE ↗
Faith-specific training and policy review — also conducts independent investigations if an allegation ever surfaces.
- Praesidium Academy ↗
An online course library used widely across denominations.
- MinistrySafe ↗
Built specifically for churches and ministries. Its 5-Part Safety System covers awareness training, screening, policy, and monitoring together.
- Harborkeeper isn't affiliated with any of these — pick whichever fits your denomination and budget, then log each volunteer's completion date under Training in their roster record so it's tracked automatically from there on.
For Parents and Kids
Training teaches volunteers what not to do. These teach kids to recognize it and say something if it happens anyway — most of the programs above don't cover this half.
- Darkness to Light — Resources for Adults & Families ↗
Free, age-graded conversation guides (ages 3-5, 6-8, pre-teen/teen) for talking through body safety and boundaries with your kids, plus a family code-of-conduct worksheet — built to go through together, not just hand to a child.
- NCMEC — NetSmartz & KidSmartz ↗
Free videos and activities from the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. KidSmartz (grades K-5) covers personal safety; NetSmartz covers older kids and online safety specifically.
- Neither of these is specific to churches or volunteer settings — they teach general body-safety and boundary awareness, which is exactly what makes a child more likely to recognize and report it regardless of where it happens.